the past several years I have had many consultations with parents
who want to know how to prepare their older children for a new baby.
These parents leave my office feeling more confident, knowledgeable
and secure about how to help their child prepare for the "big event".
more frequently however I have had parents call me with one of the
following dilemmas: "My 3 year old hates my 6 month", "My 4 year
old does everything she can to take attention away from the baby",
"My 2 and a half-year old wants to be a baby again, now that I have
a new baby". There are actually many more problems that I have heard
over the years. These parents are a loss as to how to handle their
older children, particularly when they are overwhelmed and exhausted,
not only with having an infant, but also with the sudden changes
in their first child's behavior.
the parents have prepared their older child for the baby, and sometimes
they haven't. But without realizing it, most of the time their preparation
has not been nearly thorough enough. Of course there are some children
who struggle with the change no matter how well you prepare them.
The parents of all these children are now at a loss as to how to
handle the confused, angry and sad feelings that their children
are expressing. It much more difficult to help these parents and
children "fix things" than it is to give advice and counseling before
the baby is born.
began to realize that I needed to get the word out that a little
preparation and knowledge beforehand will spare a lot of heartache
and aggravation afterwards. And for the children who are feeling
confused and displaced and the parents who are coping with a new
baby and a sad or angry child, support and suggestions are in order.
Realizing these things gave me the idea for this website. So here
it is...Havinganotherbaby.com is the result of many years of helping
parents prepare their children for a new baby and helping children
and their parents manage conflicted feelings that arise after the
baby is born.
I almost forgot, I have had many opportunities to practice my theories
and techniques with my own children ages 5 1/2, 3 and 2 years old.
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